I'll Be Seeing You
by thecarouselneverstopsturning
Summary: Similar layout to my other story, "Our Love Story" In this story, Brianna is a teenager, the Forman kids have another sibling named Jake, and Kelso dated Laurie from the beginning. RK,KL,ED,JH,F? Summary sucks, I know. Just read and review. Thanks :) It means a lot to me.
1. Default Chapter

Authors Note: Hi, I thought of a brand new fic. It is similar to my other fanfic "Our Love Story"But in this story we explore what the show would be like if Brianna was a teenager, there was a fourth Forman child named Jake, (exactly like the one in "It's a Wonderful Life" episode of the original) and Kelso dated Laurie from the beginning. Enjoy!

Point Place, Wisconsin  
February 17, 1975  
8:47 p.m.

Location: Eric Forman's Basement.

INT: FORMAN'S BASEMENT. NIGHT.

ERIC FORMAN, (14) BRIANNA FORMAN, (13) STEVEN HYDE, (15) MICHAEL KELSO, (15), and DONNA PINCIOTTI, (15) sit around a small. round card table. ERIC, BRIANNA, and DONNA sit across from each other in card chairs, while HYDE and KELSO sit on a couch in the center of the room.

The guys are in a discussion.

HYDE: Eric, it is time.

ERIC: Why don't you do it?

HYDE: It's your house.

KELSO: Your house.

HYDE: (points to floor above) Listen to them up there.

Eric and Brianna's parents are throwing a large party upstairs. Kelso looks in the direction Hyde is pointing.

HYDE: The party has reached critical mass. In ten minutes, there will be no more beer opportunities.

KELSO seconds that motion. He shakes his head.

ERIC: If my dad catches me copping beers, he'll kill me.

HYDE: I'm willing to take that risk.

KELSO: Don't worry about it. Just remain calm, keep moving...

DONNA: ...and above all, don't get sucked into my dad's hair.

BRIANNA: What's wrong with your dad's hair?

DONNA: Just don't look at it.

Hyde stands up and grabs Eric's face to stress a point.

HYDE And, Eric... (regarding the temperature of beer)...cold. Definitely cold.

Eric nods his head in understanding then stands and heads upstairs. Captain and Tenille's 'Love Will Keep Us Together' begins playing. Hyde sits back down on the couch, as Brianna starts reading a magazine.

INT: FORMAN'S KITCHEN. NIGHT.

Laurie, Eric, Brianna, and Jake's mother KITTY, a nurse, leans over her oven and removes a tray of hot pizza rolls with a pair of oven mitts. She sings along to Captain and Tenille.

KITTY  
(singing) '...young and beautiful. Someday your looks will be gone.'

She heads for the living room, carrying the hot tray with her.

INT: FORMAN'S LIVING ROOM. NIGHT.

KITTY bumps into ERIC as he enters the living room from the basement.

KITTY: Oh! Oh! Watch it, Eric. Hot pizza rolls. (she runs into the living room, dodging through her party guests) Coming through. Hot. Hot.

WOMAN: Kitty, where are you?

Kitty places the tray of pizza rolls down on a serving table, and instantly a handful of guests swarm the table and the pizza rolls.

KITTY: Okay. Take two. There's plenty. There's plenty coming.

Kitty walks away to see how the rest of her guests are doing.

KITTY: Is everybody good? (to guest) I know. I know. Vienna sausages are so versatile.

Her little boy Jake is wooing everybody with his magician tricks. The song continues. Eric enters the living room and approaches another table of snacks. He grabs a couple cans of beer just sitting there, waiting for somebody's attention. He runs into BOB PINCIOTTI, DONNA, VALERIE, and TINA'S father. He sports a large brunette perm. He wears a gaudy brown golf shirt over a Hawaiian shirt. Bob smokes a cigar and drinks a vodka and orange juice.

BOB: (to Eric) Hi there, Eric. (laughs) Ha ha ha ha ha!

ERIC: Mr. Pinciotti.

Bob ruffles his new hairstyle. His sexpot wife MIDGE walks on over.

MIDGE: (to Eric) So, Eric, how do you like Bob's new hair? (she puts her arm around Bob) Isn't it groovy?

She's also drinking a vodka and orange juice. She wears a rather skimpy outfit. Eric can't help but notice Midge's large ample breasts. His eyes wander.

ERIC: (turned on) It's incredibly groovy, Mrs. Pinciotti.

BOB: Ah, yeah.

Eric looks back to Bob.

BOB: (regarding his hair) It was Midge's idea.

Bob looks at his wife and then looks over at his two other kids.

MIDGE: (to Eric) It's a perm.

Bob and Midge smile. Eric smiles and walks away. He goes for a six-pack of beers just lying on the bar, waiting to be drank. Eric's father RED walks on over. Red is bartender for the evening's party.

RED: Eric.

Eric decides against taking the beers and looks up at his father. Eric hides the two beers he already has in his hands behind his back.

ERIC: Hi, Dad.

Red looks past Eric at his guests and notices Bob's hair.

RED: What the hell happened to Bob's hair?

ERIC: Beats me.

RED: His head looks like a poodle's ass. (beat) Boy, just when you think you've seen everything...

Red leans down and grabs something from under the bar. Eric finishes his dad's sentence.

ERIC: ...a poodle's ass walks into your party.

RED: Eric, don't use the "ass" word. You're still in high school and your little brother is right there.

Red starts mixing a drink. He pours water into a glass from a pitcher.

ERIC: Yes, sir.

Eric's cute little blond-haired baby brother, JAKE(6) comes out with an egg.

JAKE: (cracks open a egg and a coin comes out) Presto!

RED: That's my boy!

All of a sudden, Kitty comes running out of the kitchen carrying a hot tray of pigs in a blanket. She dodges through the crowd of party guests.

KITTY: Okay. Pigs in a blanket. Hot. Hot.

Kitty places the tray down on a table. She runs into MIDGE, and TINA PINCIOTTI.

MIDGE: (to Kitty) Kitty, is that your Toyota in the drive?

Bob walks on over, still carrying his drink.

KITTY: Red...

Bob walks on over to the bar to talk to Red.

BOB: (to Red) A Toyota?

Red is slightly embarrassed. He can't afford a better car or many other finer luxuries because his job at the plant has recently been cut-down to half-time. Bob is well better off than Red, financially. Bob works at a large appliance store.

RED: (to Bob) Yeah, it's mine. (beat) The last time I was that close to a Japanese machine, it was shooting at me.

Kitty walks on over.

KITTY: (to Red) Well, honey, it is the gas crisis. What can you do?

RED: And you know, Bob, those S.O.B.s at the dealership offered me a lousy $400 trade-in on a Vista Cruiser.

Bob really truly thinks Red's a complete sap. But really, Bob is more a loser than Red will ever be.

BOB: Ah, what you gonna do?

RED: It'll rust in the driveway before I trade it in.

Bob walks away. Red finishes mixing a drink. He places an orange slice and a straw in the vodka orange juice.

KITTY: (to Red) Honey, it is rusting in the driveway.

Kitty walks away to get more snacks from the kitchen. Jake follows her in.

ERIC: (to Red) Hey, pop, I'll take the Cruiser off your hands. I don't care if it's a pump sucker.

Eric accidentally raises his hands, revealing the cans of beer to Red.

RED: What you got there Eric?

ERIC: Beer. I found it just sitting...you know...around.

Red picks up the drink and starts walking out from behind the bar to join the party.

RED: Well, put 'em away, son.

RED walks past ERIC.

ERIC: Why, I intend to, sir.

Eric starts heading back for the downstairs doorway. On his way, his mother approaches him. She picks up a couple cans of warm beer from the coffee table and hands them to Eric.

KITTY: (to Eric) Oh, honey, honey, on your way to the basement, could you pop these in the fridge? They're warm. (laughs) Ha ha ha ha!

ERIC makes a run for it, back into the kitchen and downstairs.

INT: FORMAN'S BASEMENT. NIGHT.

Music plays in the background. Hyde sits on the couch reading the latest issue of Playboy magazine (actually, he's looking at the pictures). Kelso sits next to him playing air guitar along with the song. Donna still sits in her card chair reading a magazine, as Brianna is doing her Topics in Math homework. Hyde flips to the centerfold and shows it to Kelso.

HYDE: Check it out.

Kelso just stares endlessly at the naked centerfold beauty, forgetting he's dating Laurie. Donna walks over behind Hyde and Kelso and stares at the magazine. Brianna does the same.

DONNA: I see that every day.

BRIANNA: So do I.

They walk back to their. Hyde and Kelso feel embarrassed. Eric returns from upstairs. He holds the beers out for all to see in their wonderful frothy glory.

KELSO: He's alive!

Eric walks around the room and hands out the beers. There is something on his mind.

ERIC: Good news. My dad...is thinking of giving me...the Vista Cruiser.

BRIANNA: Dad's thinking of giving you a car?

Kelso gets up from the couch and walks over and starts fiddling with something hanging from a clothesline. Eric returns to his card chair next to Hyde on the couch.

KELSO: You're getting a car?

DONNA: (to Eric) Ooh. Have I told you how incredibly attractive you are, Eric?

ERIC: No.

KELSO: (to Donna) You told me he was cute.

Brianna laughs. Eric cracks open his beer and listens in on Donna and Kelso's conversation. Donna tries to hide her feelings about Eric. She stares at the floor. Kelso takes his seat on the couch next to Hyde and faces Donna. He opens his can of beer as Brianna opens a can of diet cream soda.

DONNA: (to Kelso) No, I didn't.

KELSO: I remember, 'cause you said not to say anything in front of Eric.

Eric wants to hear more. Hyde breaks in. He puts down his porno mag and picks up his beer from the card table.

HYDE: Let's focus on what's important here, people. Forman stole something.

The gang all raise there beers in celebration. A toast.

HYDE: To Forman!

KELSO: All right!

ERIC: You know what's sad? This is the proudest day of my life.

Eric gets all emotional and rests his head in Hyde's arms for comfort.

INT: FORMAN'S BASEMENT. DAY.

The following afternoon...

The gang is assembled in ERIC AND BRIANNA FORMAN'S basement, all seated around the card table watching 'The Brady Bunch' on television, without the sound. An earphone is plugged into the television. Eric is seated on the couch's armrest behind Donna on the floor. Kelso is seated on the couch alongside pampered but sweet cheerleader JACKIE BURKHART, (13) hot blonde-haired left-handed girlfriend LAURIE(16) who also happens to be Eric and Brianna's older sister, and Brianna.

ERIC: (off TV - as Greg) Wow, Marsha. A football in the face. That's gotta hurt.

DONNA: (as Marsha) Ouch! My nose!

ERIC: (as Greg) That's gonna be huge in the morning.

DONNA: (as Marsha) Huger than my boobs?

ERIC: (as Greg) Well, bigger than the left one.

Brianna giggles.

BRIANN: You guys are so funny!

JACKIE: (to Eric) Why are we watching this without the sound? I am totally confused.

Eric picks up the earphone and hands it to Jackie.

ERIC: Here. Use the earphone.

Eric slides down onto the couch, and Donna gets up from the floor and sits in her card chair. Jackie plugs the earphone into her ear.

KELSO: (to Eric) So...what's the deal with the Vista Cruiser?

ERIC: The deal is, there is no deal yet.

Jackie is trying to watch the show.

JACKIE: Shh!

Kelso turns to his girlfriend and her sister.

KELSO: So Laurie, you wanna come with us to the concert on Saturday?

Eric does the "Not my big sister" sign. But it's too late. Kelso asked. He groaned in annoyance.

LAURIE: Whose gonna play at the concert?

KELSO: Uh...Todd Rundgren.

LAURIE: When?

KELSO: This weekend.

LAURIE: Oh Michael. I would love to come!

KELSO: (grins) Yes! You can come too, Brianna!

BRIANNA: Thanks!

Everybody gets up, leaving only Kelso and Laurie. Kelso jumps on top of Laurie and they start making out on the couch. She starts giggling. And just as they do, Eric and Donna return from upstairs. They pause on the stairs.

ERIC: Laurie, Mom needs...

Kelso and Laurie jump up when they hear Eric's voice.

ERIC: (to Laurie) I guess you and Brianna are going to the concert with us.

Laurie slides out from under Kelso, dumps him back on the couch, and runs over to Eric and Donna. She jumps around, all happy-like.

LAURIE: Yeah, little brother!

Eric and Donna step into the room. They confront Laurie by the washing machine and dryer.

LAURIE: Mm-hmm. I can't wait. (She turns back to Kelso) So, Michael, you want to go back upstairs to my room and listen to Todd Rundgren records?

KELSO acts all cool and grins at his girlfriend of 3 years.

KELSO: Yeah, sure.

Laurie looks back to Eric and Donna.

LAURIE: Okay. Bye, Donna. See you at dinner, little bro.

Laurie nearly stumbles as she dashes up the stairs. Kelso chases after her. Eric waves after them as the two leave.

ERIC: You kids have fun! Bye!

DONNA: Bye-bye now!

Donna and Eric take a seat on the stairs. Eric puts his arm around her.

DONNA: (to Eric) Oh, they're so darn cute. The minute you turn your back, they go at it like dogs.

ERIC: Ooh, they're frisky.

DONNA: You can't leave them alone.

ERIC: No. They've been together for three years, there's no way. (opens a cream soda) You know...Brianna and Jake think that we...shouldn't be left alone.

DONNA: Us?

ERIC: Yes.

A brief pause.

DONNA: We're alone now.

ERIC: Well...yeah.

Another brief pause.

DONNA: Eric...relax. We've lived next door to each other forever. You could have had me when I was four.

ERIC: Really? (beat) And there I was all day long on the hippity-hop. (beats his head against the wall) Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! (Donna pushes his head against the wall)  
Stupid! (Eric pushes Donna's head against the wall) Stupid.

EXT: FORMAN'S DRIVEWAY. DAY.

Eric stands in his driveway, staring at some hidden person or object. All likelihood, it must be Donna or Brianna. But, looks can be deceiving.

ERIC: Ever since yesterday, I can't stop thinking about you. I mean, I've known you practically my whole life. I want you. I want you so bad.

Donna steps up from behind Eric, and stares at the same thing Eric's looking at.

DONNA: Eric, it's a car.

Kelso also steps up from behind.

KELSO: (to Donna) Let's just leave these two kids alone.

DONNA: Yeah.

Donna and Kelso start walking away, leaving Eric alone to stare at the Vista Cruiser parked in the driveway. They stop, however, as Donna's dad Bob arrives from next door. He's wearing a jogging outfit. Her little sister TINA(13) follows him.

BOB: (to Donna) Say, hey there, Donna.

Bob kisses his second daughter on the cheek.

DONNA: Hey, Dad.

BOB: Ah, you kids. Standing around the driveway. It's so darn cute.

Donna can't help but smile.

BOB: You know, you may not realize it, but this is the most fun you're ever gonna have.

TINA: Oh, dad. You are the biggest sap.

A brief pause. Eric enters into this conversation.

ERIC: (to Bob) So it's all downhill from here, sir?

BOB: Yeah.

Eric and Kelso nod in understanding. Bob runs a comb through his perm and walks away. Kelso is now only learning about Bob's perm for the first time.

KELSO: (to Donna) What the hell happened to your dad's hair?

DONNA: He got a permanent.

Kelso appears shocked.

KELSO: So that's permanent?

JAKE: Your daddy's hair looks like a poodle's ass. (Donna laughs and pats the little boy's shoulder)

INT: THE HUB. DAY.

The Hub is your basic teenage hangout. There's food, arcade games, coin-op machines, and tons of pinball machines. The place is packed with teenagers, our gang included. DONNA and ERIC, and JACKIE, BRIANNA, KELSO and LAURIE, are seated around a table having burgers and sodas. In the background, HYDE is demonstrating a pinball game to the foreign kid FEZ.

FEZ: (to Hyde) I may not say this right because I am new to English...but she has tremendous breasts, yes?

Fez is staring over at Brianna. Brianna can hear him. She turns to her big brother.

BRIANNA: (to Eric) Eric, who is this guy?

Eric gets up from the table and walks over to a nearby pinball machine.

ERIC: Oh, that's Fez. He's a foreign exchange student.

He noticed she is clearly smitten with the foreign exchange student.

BRIANNA: Who did we exchange for him? (Nobody says anything in reply. Brianna gets pissed and stands up) Donna, I have to go to the Ladies' room. (Donna doesn't even look at Brianna) Donna!

Donna looks up, and reluctantly gets up from her seat and follows Brianna into the bathroom. Jackie follows them in too. And, just as they leave, Fez walks over to the table.

FEZ: (to Kelso and Eric) I, too, must go to the bathroom. Eric?

Eric turns around from his pinball game and looks at Fez embarrassingly. Hyde takes a seat at the table.

ERIC: (to Fez) No, it...doesn't work that way with guys.

Fez walks away, confused. Eric returns to his seat at the table. It's just him, Hyde, Kelso, and Laurie at the table.

HYDE: (to Kelso) Kelso, I think Fez likes Brianna.

KELSO: Yeah, I think he does. Eric, Fez likes your little sister!

ERIC: What?! No, he doesn't.

HYDE: He so does. I see it, and she likes him.

LAURIE: Aww. My little sister has her first crush!

Kelso drinks his coke and wraps his arms around her.

INT: FORMAN'S BASEMENT. DAY.

ERIC, KELSO, HYDE, and FEZ sit clockwise in that order around the card table in Eric's basement. They're all seated in card chairs or lawn chairs. A bong sits on the table in front of HYDE, amidst the usual junk found on the table. The guys are all stoned on some illegal substance. 'Hooked On A Feeling' plays in the background. The air is full of smoke.

HYDE: (to Eric) So, is Red still thinking about giving you the car maybe?

Hyde snorts twice. Kelso laughs. He's fried out of his melon.

KELSO: (laughs) Ha ha. (to Hyde) Even if we do get it, we're gonna need some serious gas money... (to Eric) ...'cause the Cruiser's a boat.

KELSO laughs again.

ERIC: (to Kelso) I know it's a boat. This whole gas shortage bites.

Eric looks at Fez

FEZ: (eating a bag of chips) Who's getting a boat?

Fez looks at Hyde and then to Eric. Nobody says a word. Fez eats a chip.

HYDE: There is no gas shortage, man.

Thus begins another of HYDE'S ingenius conspiracy theories.

HYDE: (continued) It's all fake. The oil companies control everything. Like, there's this guy who invented this car...that runs on water, man. It's got a fiberglass, air-cooled engine and it runs on water.

FEZ: (to Hyde) So it is a boat.

Fez scarfs down another chip. Hyde stares at Fez strangely.

HYDE: No, it's a car. Only you put water in the gas tank instead of gas. (laughs) Ha ha ha ha. And it runs on water, man!

KELSO laughs hysterically. He's fully tweaked.

KELSO: (to Hyde) I never heard of this car. (beat - starts to laugh but gets an idea (to Eric) Hey, Laurie's good for gas money.

KELSO continues to crack up. He's way gone.

ERIC: (to Kelso) You are such a whore.

Eric starts laughing. Fez still doesn't get it.

FEZ: (to Kelso) When does the boat get here, whore?

The guys all break out laughing. There fun is momentarily interrupted by the voice of ERIC'S dad from upstairs.

RED: (VO) Eric!

ERIC: Yeah, Dad?

RED: (VO) I need to talk to you!

INT: FORMAN'S KITCHEN. DAY.

Eric stands facing his parents in the kitchen. Eric is so stoned that the wall behind his parents seems to move around in a wave-like motion. Brianna is doing her Living Environment homework while Jake is drawing.

RED: Eric...your mother and I have been talking. Since I've been cut back to part-time at the plant...and the, uh, hospital is so close, I can take the Toyota to work, and your mom can take the bus.

ERIC blinks his eyes to try to clear his hallucinations.

KITTY: (to Red) Honey...honey, really, I'd rather walk. When I ride the bus in my nurse's uniform, people always show me their scars.

RED: (to Kitty) Then I'll drop you off on my way to the plant.

KITTY: Well, no. I don't want to be any trouble.

RED: Then Eric can drop you off.

KITTY: He's a teenager. He doesn't want to drop off-

RED: Well, if he can't drop his own mother off at work, then I'll be damned if he's getting a car.

KITTY: Okay.

ERIC: Excuse me. (to Red) Am I getting the car?

RED: We didn't say that. Things don't just drop into your lap, Eric. Not in this life.

KITTY: A car is a responsibility.

RED: You'll need insurance. Do you have any idea how much insurance is?

KITTY: A car is a privilege.

RED: Oil changes, road flares...fluids. That's your job!

KITTY: A car is not a bedroom on wheels.

RED: Always yield. Always.

KITTY: Laurie's friend got pregnant in a car. Don't let that happen.

RED: If I find one beer can in that car, it's over.

KITTY: And no doughnuts, either.

Red looks at Kitty strangely. Kitty smiles at him.

KITTY: Ants.

ERIC: So...do I get the car?

Red and Kitty think about their decision for a moment, then Red tosses the keys to the Vista Cruiser over to Eric. They fly through the air in slow motion. They land in Eric's hands. He clings to them tightly as if his most-prized possession.

ERIC: Bitching!

RED: Eric. (beat) Not in front of your mother, and younger siblings.

ERIC: Thank you, pop...sir.

RED: Yeah. Well...clean the attic.

Red and Kitty smile and walk away. This is the happiest day of Eric's life.

EXT: FORMAN'S DRIVEWAY. EARLY EVENING.

ERIC, BRIANNA, DONNA, and KELSO are standing around ERIC'S Vista Cruiser. DONNA and KELSO fight over who gets to ride in the front passenger seat.

KELSO: (to Donna) Well, I'm not riding in the back.

DONNA: Why don't we let Eric decide?

Eric is seated inside the car behind the wheel. Donna and Kelso peer in through the open front passenger door.

KELSO: Eric?

ERIC: Kelso...

Kelso thinks he's been given the front seat. He climbs in. Not so fast...

ERIC: (continued) ...get in the back.

Kelso stumbles and falls out of the car. Donna pushes him out of the way and takes her seat in the front. Kelso and Brianna get in the backseat.

Just then, Red walks outside from the kitchen. He faces Eric and Brianna inside the car.

RED; Taking it for a spin, eh?

ERIC: Yes, sir.

RED: Well, have a good time. (beat) Oh, uh...one more thing. (kneels down over driver's side door) Very important. About the car. She's old, so...no trips out of town. Ever. Understood? (beat) Well...have fun.

Red walks away. Eric doesn't know what to do next.

ERIC: (to Donna and Kelso) Well, I guess that's that. We're not going.

DONNA: Eric, do you want to go?

ERIC: He said no trips out of town.

DONNA: It's your car. Do you want to go?

ERIC: He's God.

KELSO: I think God would want us to go to Milwaukee.

BRIANNA: Come on, big bro.

DONNA: Eric, you are a 14-year-old man. I'm gonna go with whatever you say. It's your decision.

Eric thinks for a bit.

ERIC: It is my decision.

Donna gives him a reassuring nod.

ERIC: And my decision is...we're going to a concert.

KELSO: Yeah!

INT: FORMAN'S LIVING ROOM. EARLY EVENING.

Red and Kitty are seated on the living room couch. Red is reading a magazine, and Kitty is crocheting. Jake is in his room. They hear the car leaving.

KITTY: Oh. The kids are off. I wonder where they're going.

RED: Out of town.

KITTY: Are you sure?

RED: Of course. I told them not to.

KITTY: So I guess they'll be gone for a while.

RED: Yeah.

Red starts to understand what Kitty is thinking. Something to do with the bed in their bedroom upstairs.

RED: Let's go.

Red and Kitty jump up from the couch and run upstairs like a couple of horny teenagers.

EXT: ROAD NEAR MILWAUKEE. EARLY EVENING.

The Vista Cruiser's engine starts to sputter and nearly dies. The rear right blinker starts flashing. The car turns into a service station. It finally gives out and dies on the spot.

EXT: SERVICE STATION. EARLY EVENING.

ERIC, HYDE, and KELSO all stand around the Vista Cruiser in the service station parking lot. The station looks more like a junkyard of old cars and parts. The front hood of the Vista Cruiser is propped open. A grease monkey named RANDY is inspecting the car to see what's wrong with it. LAURIE, DONNA, FEZ, BRIANNA, and JACKIE wait inside the car. They sit in the backseat.

KELSO: (to Eric) I'm telling you, we're out of gas.

Hyde drinks a bottle of pop through a straw.

ERIC: We're not out of gas.

Randy looks up from under the hood.

RANDY: It's the battery. It's six years old and shot to hell.

DONNA and JACKIE climb out of the backseat and approach the guys.

JACKIE: I know what. I'll just call my dad.

ERIC: (to Kelso) Kelso, tell her.

Kelso goes over to Jackie.

KELSO: He can't take the car out of town.

JACKIE: (to Kelso - points at Laurie, Eric, and Brianna) I'm not calling their dad.

HYDE: (to Jackie) Jackie...parents talk to each other about how we screw up.

JACKIE: Why would he talk about that?

ERIC: They can't help it. (beat) Look, say there's a party, see. And all of our parents are there. Together.

The scene dissolves to the FORMAN living room, where an imaginary party is taking place. ERIC acts as the voices of their parents.

INT: FORMAN'S LIVING ROOM. DREAM SEQUENCE.

In the imaginary party, JACK BURKHART and BOB PINCIOTTI bump into RED. They each carry a vodka orange juice.

ERIC: (as Jack) Hi, Red. Say, isn't it great all our kids are such great friends?

Red smiles.

ERIC: (as Bob) Yes, Jackie's dad. They're quite the gang of young people. (laughs) Ha ha ha ha!

Bob and Jack share a laugh together.

KITTY comes running into the room carrying a hot plate of pigs in a blanket. She runs into MIDGE PINCIOTTI.

ERIC (high-pitched - as Midge) Kitty, I love what you've done with the kitchen! (as Kitty) Yes. Aqua and yellow. Blah, blah, blah. Yak, yak yak.

BOB, JACK, and RED lounge around the bar.

ERIC: (as Jack) Speaking of kids, wasn't it lucky Triple-A pulled Eric's butt out of the fire when he took the car to Milwaukee without your permission?

Red is outraged.

ERIC: (as Red) What? Why, that twisted little monkey. I'm grounding him for ten years.

Red laughs.

ERIC: (as Jack - to Bob) Kids. What are you gonna do? (as Red) I say we torture them with plenty of pointless rules and advice.

Red laughs again. The guys all make a toast with their drinks.

Suddenly, Midge turns around after putting a new record on the turntable and starts cheering for an audience to join together in song and dance.

ERIC (high-pitched - as Midge) Hey, everybody, let's hustle.

MIDGE starts doing the hustle. Everybody joins in and starts humming to the song 'Do the Hustle'. They all clap and shake, shake, shake - shake their booties.

The party dissolves back to real time, to the gang at the service station.

EXT: SERVICE STATION. EARLY EVENING.

The gang is dancing in the parking lot to 'Do the Hustle'. They're shaking and clapping about. FEZ has since climbed out of the car and has joined the rest of the gang. He is dressed in a blue leisure suit. JACKIE interrupts and brings the guys back to their senses.

JACKIE: Now...we are in the middle of nowhere, and I have to go to the Ladies' room. (to Donna) Donna?

DONNA reluctantly follows JACKIE into the service station bathroom. BRIANNA and LAURIE do too. HYDE keeps staring at FEZ'S outfit.

HYDE: (to Fez) What's with the suit, man?

FEZ: This suit is for leisure. But many times I wear it to get down to business, and because I wanna impress Brianna.

FEZ starts making disco moves like John Travolta. Hyde pats his shoulder.

HYDE: Good luck, Man.

RANDY turns from the car and faces the guys.

RANDY: So...where you going?

HYDE: Rundgren concert.

RANDY: Cool. (beat) So...what, do you want a battery? 'Cause I can get you a battery.

HYDE: Are they cheap?

ERIC: Or possibly free?

RANDY: Thirty-two bucks. Minimum.

KELSO: All right. I tell you what. We'll trade you our battery, plus five bucks for one of your batteries.

RANDY: Well, that's a really sweet deal, my friend...but how about this? How about one battery for two concert tickets?

KELSO: No. We can't give up two tickets.

ERIC and HYDE just give RANDY a cold stare.

RANDY: Okay.

RANDY walks away.

ERIC: (to Kelso) It's either that or none of us go.

KELSO: So who's out?

HYDE: Well, there's always Laurie.

KELSO: No! She's my girlfriend. OK, who else?

ERIC: Oh, I don't know. My big sister's boyfriend?

Kelso takes a step back. Hyde thinks it's a great idea.

KELSO: Come on, I've been with your big sister for three years. You know I'm gonna propose to her soon. You guys are chopping me out!

ERIC: I've had to listen to her for a good hour at lunchtime today, and another at dinner.

FEZ: A really long hour.

KELSO: God hates me.

Kelso removes his and Laurie's concert tickets from his shirt's left breast pocket. He hands them to Eric, who hands them to Hyde for safe keeping. They start walking to go find Randy to make the trade for a battery. Fez approaches Kelso.

FEZ: (to Kelso) How can you say God hates you? At least you have a woman's love. Be happy...whore.

Fez walks off, leaving Kelso behind, guarding the car. He mopes over his decision.

INT: RUNDGREN CONCERT. NIGHT.

The concert has drawn a full-capacity crowd. Everybody is having a great time. ERIC, FEZ, BRIANNA, HYDE, and DONNA are wallowing in the party mood. They swing back and forth to the music. Everybody is waving lighters or candles in the air. FEZ glances over to his right where RANDY the grease monkey is seated with a male friend. They're also having a good time, but something is definitely fishy.

FEZ: (looks at his friends) Hey, guys, he's dating a man.

DONNA: I'm okay with it.

ERIC: We are so cool to be okay with it.

BRIANNA: So am I. (smiles at Fez) Lover!

RANDY gets up from his seat.

RANDY: (to his friend Kevin) I have to go to the bathroom. (starts walking away - he looks back at Kevin) Kevin.

KEVIN gets up from his seat and follows his lover down the stairs. FEZ gives ERIC a confused look.

ERIC: (to Fez) I'll explain later.

FEZ: Oh, Eric. Your little sister is so hot!

The crowd continues to sway back and forth to the music.

EXT: ARENA PARKING LOT. NIGHT.

Outside the concert arena, in the parking lot, sits the Vista Cruiser. Its back window is open. The car is really rocking and shaking the pavement. Moans and groans emanate from within. KELSO and LAURIE seem to be having a real good time in the back compartment. LAURIE all of a sudden sits up frustrated, and also very naked. She pulls on her top.

LAURIE: (to Kelso) This isn't working.

KELSO pops his head up. He's also naked except for his pants. He pulls on his shirt.

KELSO: No. It's a Boy Scout belt. The buckle's got a big -

LAURIE: No. Michael, before you speak, please hear my words. (beat) I think we should get married.

KELSO: Now?

LAURIE: You're ready.

KELSO: I'm not.

LAURIE: Really?

KELSO: Yeah!

LAURIE: Oh, Michael, I am so glad you don't want to get married right now. You were so nice to give your ticket away so you could be with me.

KELSO: Well...yeah. We've been dating for three years. I love you! (kissed both of her hands)

LAURIE: I love you too.

She places her hand on his shoulder, and the two of them slowly drop back into the car. Their clothes come flying off.

LAURIE: So...when were you a Boy Scout?

The Cruiser really starts hopping now. Screams reverberate out of the back. The tires are literally bouncing off the ground. A moment later, the windows of the cars on each side of the Cruiser all shatter. Car alarms begin to wail. LAURIE and KELSO cautiously peek their heads up to see what happened.

KELSO: (to Laurie) I hope that wasn't what I think it was.

LAURIE: Great, Michael!

And then, another problem arises. A SECURITY GUARD approaches the Vista Cruiser, waving a flashlight around. He shines it in through the side windows and sees the two naked teenagers in the back.

LAURIE: Busted.

EXT: VISTA CRUISER. LATER.

A short while later, KELSO and LAURIE sit on the opened rear compartment door, now fully dressed once again. The SECURITY GUARD hands KELSO a ticket for indecent exposure and vagrancy.

SECURITY GUARD: (to Kelso) Here's your ticket.

KELSO: A ticket? For what?

SECURITY GUARD: Indecent exposure...public lewdness...vagrancy...need I go on.

KELSO: But I just gave away my ticket.

SECURITY GUARD: Well, now you've got another. Make sure that it gets paid. The due date is on the bottom. See you in court. Have a good night.

The SECURITY GUARD smiles and walks away. KELSO just stares at the ticket.

KELSO: How am I going to pay this ticket? My dad's going to murder me.

LAURIE: (pats his shoulder) It's okay, Michael.

He leaps at her and they fall back in the seat, kissing.

INT: VISTA CRUISER. NIGHT.

The gang is driving home from the concert. ERIC sits behind the wheel. HYDE and DONNA sit next to him in the front seat. In the backseat sit LAURIE, JACKIE, BRIANNA, KELSO, and FEZ. They sing along to the radio.

FEZ: (singing): 'That you got to have free...'

BRIANNA: Oh my god, you can sing!

FEZ: (grins) Yeah!

ALL (singing): 'Freedom.'

JACKIE: (singing) ''Cause I never want to make you change...'

ALL: (singing) '...for me.'

JACKIE: Boy, we're good! (laughs) Ha ha!

FEZ: We are really good!

The guys all smile and laugh.

They continue driving into the blackness of the night sky.

EXT: FORMAN DRIVEWAY. NIGHT.

ERIC and DONNA lay on the hood of the Vista Cruiser parked in ERIC'S driveway. They stare up at the stars. Todd Rundgren's 'Hello, It's Me' plays on the car radio.

ERIC: (to Donna) You know, it's amazing what one act of civil disobedience can do for you. E mean, there's a whole world that's waiting to be driven to. We could go to...Canada. We got a new battery. What's stopping us?

DONNA: You know, I think Canada closes at 9:30.

ERIC: Yeah.

A long pause. Eric looks at Donna.

ERIC: You know, I never would have done this if you hadn't talked me into it.

DONNA: I didn't talk you into anything.

They stare into each others eyes for a brief moment.

DONNA: Well...I'm gonna call it a day. Good night.

She climbs down off the hood and walks away. Eric calls after her.

ERIC: Good night.

Eric lays down the hood and closes his eyes. And, just as he does so, Donna returns.

DONNA: (to Eric) By the way...thanks for the ride.

She kisses Eric on the lips. Eric sits up and looks at her, confused.

ERIC: What was that for?

DONNA: I just...wanted to see what it was like.

Eric's eyes wander.

ERIC: What was it like?

DONNA: You were there.

Eric climbs down off the car.

ERIC: Yeah, I - I wasn't ready for it.

DONNA: What would you have done differently?

ERIC: I don't know. Something with my lips.

Donna smiles.

DONNA: Sounds good. Let's try that next time.

DONNA walks away. ERIC stares after her.

ERIC: When exactly is next time?

DONNA: Good night.

ERIC: Yeah, I'm really gonna sleep after that.

Eric climbs back on the hood and lays down. He stares up at the stars in the sky.

Authors Note: Review, please! If you wanna collaborate on the story too, please tell me! Thank you and have a nice day.


	2. The Late Show

(The Formans' Basement: The gang is watching "Petticoat Junction" on TV.)

Hyde: Does it bother anyone that these women live in Hooterville?

Eric: Technically Petticoat Junction is just town the track from Hooterville.

Hyde: Ok, does it bother anyone that they live just down the track from Hooterville?

Donna: It bothers me that they bathe in the town water tank.

Kelso: With the dog.

Jackie: It isn't the drinking water, it is the water for the train.

Donna: It's still three naked women with a dog.

Fez: I want to be the Hooterville dog.

Brianna: Fez, you're so funny!

(Kitty comes down with a basket full of washing.)

Kitty: Yoo hoo, coming down. Now don't mind me, I'm just putting some clothes in. Eric, honey, (Holding up a shirt) I thought you could wear this on your birthday, it's nice, you look so handsome in it.

Eric: Why would I want to dress nice on my birthday?

Kelso: It's your birthday?

Kitty: Oh, you never know what's going to happen on your birthday.

Eric: Mom. Mom, do not throw a party for me.

Kitty: Oh well listen to Mr. Popularity, like I have time to plan you a party. (Laughs) Oh um, by the way, your big sister Laurie is coming home right afterschool for Friday. No special reason, she just is. (She goes back upstairs.)

Donna: Well, you're getting a party, and best of all it's a surprise!

Kelso: I just realized Donna's older than you.

Donna: Only by a month.

Fez: Good for you Eric.

Eric: Good for me what?

Fez: In my country it is good luck to fall in love with an older woman.

Eric: (Very aware that Donna's sitting right in front of him) Fez?! Fez?!

Fez: No, they come with livestock.

(That 70's Show theme song plays)

(The Formans' Kitchen: Red is reading the paper, as Brianna and Jake are eating breakfast. The radio is playing. Kitty dances over to Red to refill his glass. Eric enters.)

Eric: Morning.

Brianna: Morning big bro.

Red: Morning. (Eric heads towards the fridge but Kitty realizes where he's going and closes the door before he can see what's inside.)

Kitty: Uh-uh. I'll get it. (She open the door just enough to get the milk out for Eric. The Eric proceeds to try and open a cupboard but Kitty slams it shut.) Uh-uh. I'll get it. (She gets a box of cereal out of the cupboard for Eric.)

Eric: Did I just see about seven bags of potato chips in there?

Kitty: They were on sale, and it's for Jake's class.

Eric: Please don't throw me a party.

Kitty: (Sitting down) I'm not throwing a party.

Red: Don't give him one.

Kitty: (Quickly) I'm not.

Red: He's too old for a surprise party.

Kitty: (Raising her voice) I'm agreeing with you!

Red: Then stop yelling.

Kitty: I'm not yelling.

Eric: (Sitting down) Look, I know money's tight, so I don't want a big birthday.

Red: I'll decide when money's tight. Now, what kind of gift do you want? Don't worry about the cost, as long as it's reasonable.

Eric: Ok, I would like a cassette player for the car. A cassette, not an eight-track. No eight-track. Ok?

Kitty: You know, I don't know why they don't just put record players in cars.

Eric: The point is, I don't want an eight-track tape player.

Red: Then you won't get one.

Kitty: Oh, but honey, he wants one.

Eric: No, I want a tape player, just not an eight-track.

Red: You'll get a Delco. A genuine GM part for your genuine GM car.

Eric: It doesn't have to be a Delco, it's just for music.

Red: Oh, now see, now there's your first mistake. Parts have to be compatible. Eric. You're not burning cheap gas in that car, are you? (Jake laughs)

Eric: No, sir. (Pause) Well, I'm going out. (He gets up)

Kitty: (Getting up) Oh, good. I want you to run to the store for me, before you go to school. Get a large can of frosting and fifteen small bags of M&M's, plain, not peanut. (Eric stares at her.) They're for your siblings. (Eric just shakes his head and leaves through the living room. Kitty breathes a sigh of relief.) Wooo...That was close!

(The Formans' Driveway: The guys are playing basket ball. Jackie and Donna are leaning against the Vista Cruiser. Brianna is standing around)

Jackie: So?

Donna: What?

Jackie: What are you going to get Eric for his birthday?

Donna: I don't know. Nothing seems right. I wanna give him something special.

(Jackie stares at Donna and a look of disbelief crosses her face.)

Jackie: He kissed you!

Donna: Sssshhhhh!

Jackie: Get in the car. Donna, get in the car so we can talk! (They get in the car) Ok, what happened?

Donna: Jackie, I'm not going to talk to you about this.

Jackie: And who are you going to talk to? (They look at the guys, who are doing armpit farts.)

Donna: Ok. We get home from the Rundgren concert, and I'm sitting on the hood of the car, and I kissed him.

Jackie: French or American?

Donna: I can't believe I'm talking to you about this. (We see Hyde and Kelso giving Fez a wedgie)

Fez: Guys, no...

Donna: Ok, so look, I've lived next door to Eric my entire life, and we talk about everything together, we love the same music, we love the Packers, and then I kissed him and everything changed and now I don't know if he's my boyfriend or he's my best friend, and if he's my boyfriend, I lose my best friend and if I screw it up I lose my best friend and my boyfriend and now I've gotta get him this gift and I don't know if-

Jackie: Donna, Donna! I've solved it. Get him a scented candle.

Donna: A scented candle?

Jackie: It's practical and romantic. Oh yeah.

Donna: (Mouths) Oh yeah...

(The Formans' Basement: Brianna is doing laundry and is dressed only in a sweatshirt. Laurie opens a can of diet cream soda and sits on the couch. Hyde, Fez, and Kelso enter.)

Fez: (Holding the ball) I had the ball last, I win.

Kelso: No, you didn't win.

Fez: Yes, I had the ball last, I- (As Brianna bends over both Fez and Hyde freeze) Holy mother...

Kelso: (Stepping in front of Fez and speaking in a deep voice to his girlfriend) Hello Laurie.

Laurie: (Friendly) Hello Michael. (Sourly to Hyde) Hyde.

(He just stares at her with a blank expression)

Fez: Who is the goddess? (Looks at Brianna)

Hyde: The goddess is Eric's little sister.

(Eric comes downstairs)

Eric: Laurie.

Laurie: Eric.

(He turns to his baby sister who is done with laundry)

Eric: (to Brianna) Shouldn't you put some clothes on?

Brianna: Why?

Eric: Aren't you a little cold?

Brianna: No, in fact, I'm hot.

Eric: Oh, well then why don't you go upstairs?

Laurie: Eric, you are so mean to our little sister!

Brianna: I'm waiting for my jeans to come out of the dryer and I want you to stay off my case, it will only take me a minute.

(Fez continues to stare at Brianna as if in a trance.)

Eric: I don't think Fez's gonna last that long.

Brianna: Too bad. It's not like I'm completely naked under this. I'm wearing underwear. (She pulls her shirt up briefly to show them. Hyde and Fez let out "Ooohhh" and "Aaaiiiee" noises.) If we were at the beach, you wouldn't even notice me.

Kelso: If we were at the beach, Fez would be in the water right now.

Laurie: I want to borrow the wagon tomorrow night, I need it.

Eric: Ok, but I need a favor.

Laurie: For you? I don't think so.

Eric: Come on, just tell mom I'm too old for surprise parties.

Laurie: But you're a baby. (Patronizing) And Momma loves her baby.

Eric: Well if you do it, you can borrow the Vista Cruiser.

Laurie: All night.

Eric: All night?! (She nods) Fine.

Laurie: Then it's a deal. (She pinches his cheek) Baby. (She goes upstairs.)

Brianna: See ya, later. (She goes upstairs too)

Fez: (Smiling) Woo hoo hoo hoo hoo...Whooooo! (Does a pelvic thrust) Yeah! Your little sister wants me! I mean you saw her coming onto me right?

(Hyde opens his mouth to speak but Kelso stops him.)

Kelso: Let him go.

Fez: Remember? I said, "Hello Brianna" and Brianna said...

(Brianna in Fez's fantasy: each bit is from what she and Laurie both said before but pasted together. and..)

Brianna: Hello Fez. I'm waiting - and I want you - baby - take me - now - I need it - bad - I need it - all night - and momma loves her baby- I'm completely naked under this - and - I'm hot - for - you - Fez.

(Fez has a goofy smile on his face. The others just stare at him with a mixture of confusion and pity.)

Fez: What? You didn't see it?

(The Formans' Dining Room: the camera pans around the table.)

Red: (attempting to make small talk) So, how's your friend Janice?

Laurie: Pregnant.

Kitty: Oh, she was such a nice girl, how would that happen?

Eric: Well, first the egg travels down the fallopian tube to the uterus, where it attaches to the wall-

Red: Eric, for God sakes, that's no language for a woman to hear.

Laurie: It's OK Red, I know what a fallopian tube is, I think Mom and Brianna do too.

Kitty: Well, I just don't like my little boy bandying those words about. (She leans over and wipes the corner of his mouth.) You're still my baby boy.

Jake: I thought I was your baby boy!

Eric: Thanks, Mom. Laurie?!

Red: Quit staring at your sisters and eat your carrots.

Laurie: Oh yeah, Eric wanted me to tell you that he thinks he's too old for a party. (holds out her hand) Keys?

Kitty: There's no party. Laurie, no slips.

Eric: Oh, Laurie, I just remembered, I can't loan you the Vista Cruiser on account of I hate you.

Red: Laurie, you're not driving the Vista Cruiser, it's old and undependable. It could break down, you could be at the mercy of any maniac who came along. That's ok for Eric. But you're taking the Toyota. (He hands her the keys) Oh and uh, here's a twenty.

Laurie: Will that cover gas?

Kitty: Oh, well it should-Honey, honey, give her another ten just in case.

Eric: You know, I could probably use some gas money.

Red: Yeah, and if a frog had wings, he wouldn't bump his ass when he hops.

(He gives Laurie more money)

Brianna: Funny one, Daddy!

(Jake nods at his big sister)

Jake: Yeah.

Eric: Shut up!

(The family goes back to eating dinner)

(The Formans' Living Room, three AM: The doorbell rings and Eric comes downstairs.)

Eric: Coming, I'm coming. (He opens the door to see Donna there in her nightgown) Donna? Donna, it's three AM, are you crazy?

Donna: Crazy? Crazy in love with you. What is it about you that drives me wild with passion and desire?

Eric: Well I am…fifteen now...

Donna: Shut up and sit down. (Eric runs to the couch and sits. Donna comes in and closes the door.) I have to give your birthday present. It can't wait any longer. Close your eyes. (We see Donna's hand drop her nightgown into Eric's lap.)

Eric: (Holding the nightgown with his eyes closed) This is my birthday present?

Donna: No, that's my nightgown. I'm your present! Open your eyes birthday boy!

(Eric opens his eyes to a plate with two fried eggs on it.)

Voices: Surprise!

(The scene quickly changes to Eric's bedroom.)

Eric: Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!

Kitty: (Laughing, Red, Brianna, Laurie, and Jake are behind her) Birthday breakfast, school, and this is it young man, a few gifts tonight, the end. And it is too late to change your mind about a party now, so don't think you're going to get one, or you will be sorely disappointed.

(She gives Laurie and Brianna a big smile like she fooled him and leaves.)

Red: Happy birthday. (He turns to leave and then comes back.) You know, the lawn's not going to cut itself. (He leaves.)

Eric: Thanks, Mom, Dad.

Laurie: Hey little brother. Nice tent.

Brianna: Yeah, nice tent.

(The Formans' Basement: Fez, Brianna, Jackie, Kelso, Hyde and Donna are all sitting still, not saying anything and look like they're concentrating on something. Eric looks at them and knows what's going on.)

Eric: Look, I know what you're all doing here.

Kelso: (Not moving) What are you talking about, man? We're just hanging out, except we're dressed nice, but that doesn't mean anything.

(They just continue to just sit there. Kitty comes down the stairs.)

Kitty: Hi kids, um, I need your help with something. Jackie, Donna, Brianna, Michael, Steven, (Pause) young man with the accent, could you give me a hand? Not you Eric.

(The six of them get up and go upstairs. When they get through the door, we hear what sounds like a herd of buffaloes running around on the wooden floor.)

Eric: God, I can't take it. (He tries to leave through the back door but when he opens it, Red is standing in the doorway.) Bu-

Red: No.

Eric: I-

Red: Nooo. No, sir.

(Kitty comes downstairs again.)

Kitty: Eric? Eric, honey? Honey, could you come up here for a second? (She goes back upstairs) Shut up, he's coming!

Everyone: Surprise!

(The Formans' Living Room: Point of view from inside Eric's present. The paper torn away from in front of the camera to reveal Eric wearing a party hat, and red and Kitty leaning over each shoulder.)

Eric: Wow...I mean, yeah...

Kitty: (Laughing) It's an eight-track tape player.

Eric: I see that.

Red: Just what you asked for.

Kitty: You made such a big deal about it, I wrote it down.

(Time lapse: Eric and Hyde are sitting on the couch. Eric opens his gift.)

Eric: (Holding them up) Cassettes. Great, thanks, Hyde.

Hyde: (Holds up the eight-track player) You're welcome.

Kitty: Oh, lets put them in the eight-track and play 'em.

(Time lapse: Eric opens another present.)

Eric: Hey...(Holds up the box) A shave dispenser!

Kitty: (Grabbing the box out of his hand) Oh, he won't need that for a long time. A long, long time.

Midge: Of course he will, he's almost like a man.

(Kitty starts to cry)

Jake: Happy birthday, big bro.

Eric: Thanks, little bro.

Donna: (picking up her present) I got you something.

Jackie: No! Donna, help me find my purse. Now!

(She grabs Donna by the arm and drags her into the kitchen.)

(They go into Formans' Kitchen)

Donna: Jackie, you didn't even bring a purse!

Jackie: Duh! You can't give him your present in front of his guy friends.

Donna: I am one of his guy friends.

Jackie: Look, Donna, I have put a lot of thought into this gift, please do not wreck it for me.

Donna: (Sarcastically) I'm sorry. I guess I was being selfish.

Jackie: That's ok.

(The Formans' Living Room)

Laurie goes up to Kelso.

Laurie: This party is lame, let's go upstairs to my room.

Kelso: (grins) Yes!

He follows her upstairs.

Red: Ok, it's time we disappeared.

Kitty: What, honey? Honey, the party just started.

Red: I know, that's why we're going over to Bob's.

Kitty: Well I wanted to give Eric a party.

Red: And you did. (He pulls Kitty toward the door) You make a mess, you're all grounded.

(Midge leaves.)

Bob: (Smiling) You darn kids.

(He follows Midge out the door.)

Kitty: Well you know, what if they run out of ketchup or something?

Red: Let's go.

(Pulling her out.)

Kitty: (Desperately trying to stay) Well, we have more buns and sweet pickles if you don't like the dills!

(Red finally manages to pull her out the door.

Time Lapse.

Laurie: (Getting up) Ok, I'd like to stay, but I'm leaving.

Eric: Hey, buy us some beers, we'll pay double.

Laurie: Do you really think that beer will make your little party better?

All the guys: Yes.

Laurie: I admit it would give you young people a sense of maturity, but it would be a false sense of maturity and that would be wrong.

(Turns to leave)

Eric: So, you're not going to do it?

Laurie: Course not. Now I'm going off to join my legal friends at a party, with a keg. (Waves) Bye.

(She goes to the door)

Kelso: (Runs around the couch, almost knocking over the lamp and stops at the bottom of the stairs.) So. Laurie. Where's the party? You know, maybe, we'll cruise by later.

Laurie: In your dreams, you idiot.

(She smiled at her boyfriend, blowing him a kiss and leaves letting the door slam behind her.)

Kelso: Ok, you guys had to see that!

(The Pinciottis' Kitchen: Bob, Midge, Red and Kitty are playing Yahtzee.)

Bob: (Rolls the dice) Three fours, I need them.

Midge: Bob is very good at Yahtzee.

Kitty: (Looks at Red) The liquor cabinet.

Red: It's locked.

Kitty: What if there's an emergency?

Red: They'll call.

Kitty: What if they run out of chips?

Red: They'll starve.

Bob: (Getting up) I'm gonna fix myself a Tom Collins. Red?

Red: No, Kitty needs one.

Kitty: (Getting up) Well I am just worried. (Hears a car) Oh my Lord, Laurie's leaving!

Red: Well honey, she's a sophomore, she doesn't want to hang around them. Neither does Brianna and Jake.

Kitty: (Heading towards the phone) Maybe I should call, just in case-

Red: (Jumping up and getting to the phone before she does) Kitty, what could happen?

Kitty: What could happen? Well plenty could happen. Oh, plenty. (Kitty imagines all the bad things that could be going on at Eric's party. She does all the voices. Hyde and Kelso are dressed like pimps, Donna, and Jackie are dressed like whores and Fez is dressed as a gangster. Eric is in the same clothes and tied to a chair. Brianna and Jake are in the kitchen)

Donna: Now that the adults are gone, we can be as bad as we want.

Jackie: Who wants to give Eric a venereal disease?!

Kelso: (Jumping over the couch) Hey look, coasters! (Picks up a couple of handfuls of them off the table)

Hyde: (Follows Kelso over the couch, who hands him a handful of coasters) Forget coasters! (he throws them into the air)

Eric: Please, fellas, my mom put out coasters for a reason.

Hyde: (Picking up a glass) I think I'm going to put my drink directly on the furniture. (Puts the glass down) That way, it will leave a ring.

Eric: Nooo! Why oh why didn't I beg my mother to stay?!

Fez: (Who has one foot up on the table and is on the phone) Quiet you silly American! I am making a long distance call on your parents' phone!

Eric: But that's immoral!

Fez: Hah! (Puts the phone down) In my country of...(pauses) wherever it is I am from, I can never tell, morals get in the way of a good dirty time. But first, I need to eat some chips before I do it with your little sister. (Walks over to the table) What?! Out of chips?! Now I am mad. (Takes out a gun) I must shoot something.

Eric: Not the littlest hobo! (Fez aims at and shoots the figurine on the TV and it blows up in slow motion.) Whyyyyyyy?!

(Fade back to the Pinciottis' Kitchen)

Red: You're overreacting.

Midge: (Gets up holding a book) Oh Kitty, when Valerie went off to college, I felt the same way, but this book of poems helped me. It's called, "Verses From an Empty Nest."

Bob: Read her that one about the little bird that lost it's way.

Midge: Oh yeah...(Opens book) The little bird that once did sing, is now alone with broken wing.

Bob: (Choked up) Oh, God.

Kitty: Yep, that sounds nice. (Handing her glass to Red) I need a refill.

Red: But honey, you usually only drink one.

(Kitty takes back the glass)

Kitty: Well tonight I'm having two.

(Holds out her glass to Bob, who refills it.)

(The Formans' Kitchen: Donna, Brianna, and Jackie are talking)

Jackie: Wait on the porch and I'll get Eric.

Donna: It's dark out there.

Jackie: And you're giving him a candle! Yeah! Here, matches. (She hands them to her.)

Donna: He might not want to light it.

Jackie: Don't say that! Don't even think it. Now, when he opens it he'll say "Cool" or something and then you give him a look, like this...

(She demonstrates by tilting her head to one side and batting her eyes, which Donna cannot find any words to reply with.)

Brianna: He so wants a scented candle. I know he does, he loves scented candles.

Jackie: See, he wants a scented candle.

(The Formans' Living Room: The guys are talking.)

Fez: So, what did you get from Donna?

Eric: Nothing yet.

Kelso: Uhhhhh...Maybe it's the big gift. You know, the really big gift. (He gets no reaction) You guys know what I'm saying when I say "the big gift" right?

Hyde: Yeah, we get it. And we got it.

Fez: I'm not even from here and I got it!

Jackie: (Entering) Oh Eric, Donna's on the porch.

(The guys all turn to look at Eric)

Kelso: He's gettin' the big gift!

(The Formans' Patio: Donna stands awkwardly while Eric unwraps his gift.)

Eric: Oh, a sand candle, this is very cool.

Donna: Oh, it's nothing.

(She leans up against the wall and bats her eyes awkwardly and tilts her head way back.)

Eric: (Worried) Are you ok?

Donna: Oh, I'm fine, yeah...

Eric: 'Cause you looked like you might be sick or something.

Donna: I am just being completely stupid.

Eric: Hey, that's my job.

Donna: (Smiles) I was worried about the gift.

Eric: Why? This is a very cool gift, I'd light it if I had matches.

Donna: Here.

(Puts matches on top of the candle.)

Eric: You thought of everything.

Donna: Well, happy birthday. (They stand in an awkward silence. Eric slowly slides his hand over Donna's on the banister. They look at each other and for a second, look like they're about to kiss, but then there is a loud crashing sound. Red and Kitty approach from across the driveway. Kitty is drunk.)

Kitty: Ooohhhhh...Look at this...Ooohhhh...We never thought to put a candle out here, oh, it is just so romantic.

Red: Let's keep moving, there's nothing to see out here.

(He guides Kitty through the door)

Eric: Thanks, thanks, Dad.

Kitty: (From inside) Oh, we have candles in the bedroom, don't we?!

(Red and Kitty laugh, making Eric and Donna cringe)

(The Formans' Patio: Eric and Donna are sitting down with the candle lit. Jackie, Kelso, Fez, and Hyde are watching from inside, attempting to hide behind the counter. Brianna and Jake are not in attendance)

Jackie: This is it, he's going for it.

Kelso: Uh-uh, it's his birthday, she should make the first move.

Jackie: She did last time.

Hyde/Fez: What?!

Jackie: Nothing! Just shut up and watch.

Hyde: Come on Forman, go for it!

Eric: (Looks in at them) The door is open, we can hear you. We can see you! (They all duck behind the counter)

Fez: Is he kissing her?

Hyde: None of us can see them, Fez.

Fez: (Calling out) Eric, are you kissing her? Maybe I should kiss Brianna. (goes to find her. Hyde stops him)

Hyde: Don't, dude. (Donna pushes the door closed and Eric blows out the candle.)

THE END.

Authors Note: Sorry this took so long, I had lots of trouble on the chapter. Please review and give me ideas. Thanks!


End file.
